


3AM

by buckyismymainman



Series: Avengers Oneshots [6]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Post-Break Up, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-19
Updated: 2019-04-19
Packaged: 2020-01-16 12:58:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18522001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buckyismymainman/pseuds/buckyismymainman
Summary: You and Bucky broke up almost a year ago, but that doesn’t stop you from thinking about him.





	3AM

_I can’t believe I’m still doing this_

_I told myself a month ago that I’d be through with this_

_I’m looking at my phone, and wondering if you’re home_

_I’m kinda tipsy, I ain’t tryna sleep alone_

_Somebody told me that some other girl was hugging you_

_Baby you know I’m the one that should be loving you_

_You know we had a thing baby it’s such a shame_

_I still get crazy every time I hear your name_

_I know it’s complicated_

_But you know I’m impatient_

Ten months.

That was how long it had been since you had broken up with Bucky.  

Ten months since you had told him you couldn’t do this anymore and had walked out the door.  That had been the hardest decision of your life, but it had to be done.  You had to get out before you got hurt.

You had left because you were scared, not because you didn’t love Bucky anymore.  He had come back from a mission that could have ended a lot differently than it had and you just… couldn’t do it anymore.  That night you told Bucky you couldn’t take it anymore and that you needed to get out before it was too late.  Before he died and you were left alone with a broken heart and shattered memories.

He had begged you to stay, had called after you as you rushed from the room with tears running down your face.  This was how it had to be, you had told yourself.  You needed to protect yourself.

Now you were sitting on your bed with your second martini and you were starting to feel the effects of the alcohol.  Your phone was in your other hand and you were going through the photos of you and Bucky together.  Smiling and laughing.  There was one you had taken right as Bucky had kissed your cheek.

Then the one from your birthday where the two of you had been dancing and Steve had taken that photo of the two of you.  The way he looked at you like you were his whole world.  And then the one that really killed you was the one you had taken of Bucky while he was asleep.  You couldn’t help it, he looked so peaceful and you wanted to capture the moment forever.

It had been two days since your friend had come to you and told you that they had seen Bucky out with someone new.  They had been getting ice cream together and he looked happy.

Before you could think about it you pulled up his number and sent him a text.

_3am, yep I’m texting you once again_

_Even though I’m hanging with my friends_

_I can’t help it, I can’t help myself, no_

_3am, I might be looking for a late night friend_

_And baby I can’t get you out my head_

_I can’t help it, I can’t help myself, no_

Bucky glanced down at his phone when he felt it vibrate and looked to see your name appear.  Mina was asleep beside him.  It had been almost a year since he had heard anything from you and he was shocked to see your name now.

 **Y/N:**  I hope you’re happy Buck.

He stared at the message for the longest time wondering if he should respond to you and if he did what he should even say.  It had taken him months to move past you walking out on him.  Months of becoming despondent.

Then Steve had taken him to that pizza shop where he had met Mina and the world became a little less grey until he worked up the courage to ask her out.

That had been three months ago.

He liked Mina, but his heart still belonged to you if he were being honest.  It always would.  But he knew why you had left, his job was dangerous and he knew you would never ask him to stop doing it, so the only other option was to leave before things went any further.

He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the couch cushion wondering what he should do.

_Kinda stressed like I’m gonna have a heart attack_

_It’s been an hour and you haven’t even hit me back_

_Baby keep it real, tell me what’s the deal_

_‘Cause I miss you, you don’t know how this feels_

_I know it’s complicated_

_This always happens when I’m wasted_

You hadn’t expected an answer, but in your heart you wished he would say something, let you know he was.  Hell, you would even take him telling you to fuck off at this point, just to hear something from him again.  One last time.

When your phone buzzed your heart stopped in your chest.

 **Bucky:**  I am, I hope you’re happy too, Y/N.

And there went the waterworks.  He had moved on, but you were still wallowing over him, missing him.  You had tried dating other men, you had tried being happy, but on nights like these you severely questioned your choice of leaving him if it made you this unhappy.

You set your phone off to the side and curled up in a ball letting the tears flow freely.

_3am, yep I’m texting you once again_

_Even though I’m hanging with my friends_

_An I can’t help it, I can’t help myself, no_

_3am, I might be looking for a late night friend_

_And baby I can’t get you out my head_

_I can’t help it, I can’t help myself, no_

A week later is when you officially see Bucky and his new girlfriend together.  You’re in a coffee shop doing some things on your computer when you hear the bell on the door jingle followed by his familiar laugh.  You look up to see him with a beautiful dark haired woman.  She’s smiling at him like you used to.

Your breath catches and you force yourself to look back at your computer screen, quickly typing away trying to block out the sounds of his voice.  Forcing the tears back, you won’t cry here, not when he can see it.

You’re almost in the clear, they’re leaving, but he must have glanced back and seen you because he asks, “Y/N?”

You look up and see the two of them have paused, their eyes trained on you.  You force a smile on your face, “Buck, hey.”

He was looking at you with a worried expression, he could always read you better than anyone.  “How’ve you been?”

Lie.  That’s the only thing you can do.  “Good, great actually.  I got that promotion at work.”  That was about the only good thing that had happened to you since your break up.

Bucky smiled at you, “Congratulations, I know how hard you worked to get there.”

You nodded, your face hurting from the fake smile, “Thanks, it was great.  I have a nice office, an assistant.  Livin’ the dream.”  Your eyes cut to the woman beside you, “I’m sorry, we’re being rude.  I’m Y/N Y/L/N.”

“Mina Gaspari,” she smiled, but you could tell she already knew who you were and she wasn’t sure how to feel about you.

“Nice to meet you, Mina.”  You looked back at Bucky, “How have you been, Buck?”

His smile didn’t reach his eyes, “Great, everything has been going really well lately.”

“I’m glad,” you say a bit awkwardly.

The three of you stand in silence before Mina says that they need to run and Bucky tells you goodbye.  When they’re out of sight you sink on your chair and stare blankly at your computer screen.

_I know, I know, I know_

_It’s so wrong_

_Somebody take away my phone_

_'Cause I’ve been drinking all night long_

_All night long_

_All night long_

_I know, I know, I know_

_It’s so wrong_

_Somebody take away my phone_

_'Cause I’ve been drinking all night long_

_All night long_

_All night long_

A month later you run into Bucky at the grocery store, he’s alone this time.

“How have you really been, Y/N?”  He had been wondering since he had seen you at the coffee shop.  He had Tony check up on you and he hadn’t liked what Tony had told him.

You shrug your shoulders, “I’m okay, Buck.”

“Have you been eating?”  He glances at the TV dinners and ice cream in your carry basket.  “Real food,” he says as his eyes look back up at yours.

“Sometimes, I’ve just been busy is all.”

“Bullshit,” he says, he’s angry now.  He’s angry because you’re hurting and he knows he’s the reason why, but he can’t do a damn thing about it.  “You need to eat.”

“I’m not your responsibility anymore,” you spit at him.  

“No, you made that decision for me,” he fires back.  “Damn it, Y/N.  Why? Why leave if you were just going to cause yourself more pain?”

The tears you had artfully held back before were now falling down your cheeks, “Because I was scared, and so I ran.  I’ve regretted that decision from the moment that I did it, but I told myself that it would be better this way.  Then I found out you had a girlfriend and I regretted it even more, but you’re happy now, and that’s all I want for you, Buck.  I want you to be happy and if you find it without me in your life then so be it.”

You didn’t wait for him to respond, you left him standing in the aisle.

_3 am_

_Yep, I’m texting you once again_

_Even though I’m hanging with my friends_

_I can’t help it, I can’t help myself, no_

_3 am_

_I might be looking for a late night friend_

_And baby I can’t get you out my head_

_I can’t help it, I can’t help myself, no_

It was three in the morning when the knock on your door came.  You grabbed a baseball bat and looked out the peephole to see Bucky standing there.  His hair was wet from the rain outside and he was breathing heavily.

You opened the door and before you could ask him what he was doing there his lips were on yours and he backed you up against the wall.  Your fingers tangled with his wet locks and you melted into his embrace.  His soapy clean scent mixed with fresh rain was intoxicating.

He pulled back and rested his forehead on yours, “Please, don’t leave me.”

You lightly ran your fingers over his cheeks, “What about Mina?”

“Ever since we saw you in the coffee shop that day she knew that I was still in love with you.  She left.  Told me that if the way you looked at me that day was any indication then you were still in love with me and that I had better win you back.”  He kissed you gently again, he had decided that if you turned him down he wanted to get in as many kisses as he could before you shut him out again.

“Bucky,” you sighed.  “I do.  I do still love you, but I can’t watch you die.”

“I quit,” he said.

That startled you.  “What?”

“I quit field work.  I’m still an Avenger, I just won’t be going into the field anymore.”  He kissed your forehead, “I’ve been fighting since 1943, was a prisoner of war twice, and I’m still fighting.  I think it’s time I stopped.”  He looked at you, and you noted how vulnerable he looked in that moment, “So doll, will you take me back?”

“God yes,” you said before crashing your lips against his.

That night you fell asleep with Bucky beside you, a content smile on your face as he held you gently in his arms.  Both of you finally getting a good night’s rest for the first time in almost a year.


End file.
